Escape From Jaded Castle
by Nakimochiku
Summary: sequel to Pink Crayon. Riri has lost her memories and now has the mind of a three year old. what will Ichi and the others do! insanity, crack, more insanity.... enjoy.


ESCAPE FROM JADED CASTLE ch. 1

_...alright. Enjoy the insanity._

While every other house on the block had happy little cloud's and the sun shining over it, Riri's did not.

The inside of the house was dark. Whenever Ichigo tried to open the window curtains, hissing and screeches ensued. "Really Riri! You're not a vampire." but all that was said while she was sucking on his neck, trying to draw blood.

"Dammit! Where the hell is that voice coming from?! It's been narrating our lives for a month!" Riri shouted. But she forgot about it in a second when Hichigo brought up a piece of cake from the kitchen. "Hichigo." she said with a sweet smile "you do know that cake is expired right?"

"Really? Your mom just got it today." Riri thought for a second, before her face lit up and she smiled 'innocently' once more.

"Yes, well she goes to the second hand store where the rats are the size of cars and their tails are longer than the body. And aliens suck brains out of human skulls with straws."

"Cool. Aliens. I had a bad run in with aliens... I don't like probes anymore..." Hichigo shivered, but dug his fork into his cake, about to start eating.

"And that's not even the worst part." Riri's innocent smile turned menacing. "The fairies come in every night. And they dance around. And then, they sprinkle fairy dust all over the–!"

"ALRIGHT! YOU CAN HAVE THE GODDAMN CAKE!" he threw it at her, and she caught it with cat like grace.

"Thank you." she ate it in seconds. "So! Hurry up and gimme another plot!" she yelled as she sat back at her computer desk, closing the open curtains as she went.

"Cross dressing." Ichigo replied half heartedly. "Or blueberries, whatever works." Riri sighed.

"I'm sinking into depression!" Riri cried. She held tight to Hichigo's waist. "The world is so cruel! We should all commit suicide! Join me!"

Ichigo looked as if he was honestly thinking about it. "How about...no?" Aizen wandered into the living room, his face thin and pale.

"Tinkiwinkie...and dipsie, lala, poe..." he whispered, swaying back and forth. "It's ok mommy...you don't have to turn it off...I like the teletubbies now..." Riri stared at him with cold calculating eyes.

"Experiment 227 is a failure." she told a voice recorder. Grimmjow sat by her feet purring as he rubbed against her. "Experiment 35 is working and will be completed in two weeks time."

"PEANUT BUTTER!!" screamed the far away voice of Ulquiorra. Riri ignored it, scratching Grimmjow behind his ears, as she made more 'scientific' (but I call them cruel) notes.

"Experiment 408 appears to be horrified, and is therefore a failure. I will be moving Experiment 408 to another cell"

"UPSIDE DOWN! WHY ARE THEY ALL UPSIDE DOWN!?" Renji screamed. He was strapped to the ceiling of his cell, watching mannequins dance and sing. Across from him, Byakuya loudly sang the shoowhop song, as he would be electrocuted if he didn't. His hair was already smoking and frizzy

"Shoo shoo shoo whop do do doooo! Do whop shoo shoo shoo" he was unfortunately off beat, and the chair he was strapped to decided this was not acceptable. The burning smell of flesh filled the room.

"What the hell are you doing to these people?!" Ichigo yelled. "Is this a torture house?" Riri gave him her schizophrenic hyena look.

"A little. And you haven't even seen my rat collection yet!" they walked to a giant tank, filled with rats. They could see a little bit of pink, and soon they saw Szayel, who had cheese glued to his eyes. "Those are rabid rats." Riri informed, giggling as Szayel screeched when he was dragged back into the tank.

"This is awful." Ichigo said to his box of crayons. Except for pink. Because pink was stupid. He hit Hichigo when he saw him teasing Gin with a slice of toast. "Alright Hichigo. We're gonna save these guys, I mean, their supposed to be our friends!" Ichigo took hold of a toilet (where he got it, who knew, it was probably there to tease and irritate Mayuri) and swung it, bashing it over Riri's head.

She lay on the ground, spurting blood. He reached into her shirt (because, really, he had been forced to do worse), finding the remote with a really big green button. He pushed it, but it sent starving dogs after Mayuri. He pressed the big red button, but that made all the mannequins in renji's cell start singing the happy song. He pressed the purple button, but that sped up the song Byakuya had to sing. Finally he pressed the blue button.

"NOT THE PEANUT BUTTER!!"

"Hmm. So that wasn't the right one either." he slapped Hichigo once more for trying to mess up byakuya's singing. He looked with a magnifying glass and found, as tiny as tiny as it could be, a white button labeled 'release all experiments' "finally!" he pressed it, and all the glass cells opened.

"FREEDOM!" Renji shouted. "... as soon as I can get off the ceiling..." he was cut down, and they all ran from the house, which blew up behind them.

"Hold on. What are we gonna do now?" Gin asked, patting Aizen on the back. "Aizen-sama, relax, your mother is dead now. You don't have to watch the teletubbies anymore."

"...the children are laughing..." Aizen whispered with a strange smile. Gin just sighed. They all turned and looked back at the house as it burned. They were free.

"We'll find something..." Ichigo said, wiping a little ash from his lacy dress as he clung tightly to his crayons.

"Yup yup, we'll find something." the voice shocked them. There was Riri, who was gazing dazedly at the house.

"Riri, are you alright?" Ichigo asked fearfully, slapping Hichigo as he poked her. She inclined her head, curious.

"Who is Riri? My name's Naki. Where's my mommy?"

TBC

_mmhmm... funny shit is gonna happen, I hope. I'll explain what happened to Gin, cuz it was the best. He was chained to the floor, starved. And every night this female thing would come after him cause it had a crush on him. Of all of them, Gin is that sanest. It's hilarious. Woo, can't wait for next chapter!_


End file.
